One last word of advice: If she chooses not to engage, under no circumstances do you continue to press the issue if she has effectively shut you down.
Lol, good advice. I sure don't know where to draw the line between immediately backing off if she shuts down and doing more of what I suggested. Once there is a clear committed R, the answer is much easier.
At this point though, if she really is not ready to talk, then any comforting touch and words, any gentle encouragement to talk may be taken simply as crowding/pressuring.
Also, pushing someone to answers they aren't ready to give because they don't know the answers themselves almost always leads to bad results.
So, maybe, a brief effort-- a hug + "I know this is scary and hard, I promise to try my best to be supportive and to not push you for answers you aren't ready to give..." {Hmmm, maybe say this pre-emptively???}
Then, a follow-up plan on how to close the convo if she runs away. What about following her, giving her a gentle rub on the back and saying something like, "It's OK, I don't need you to talk right now or have answers now. I don't want to rush you or crowd you. You need to figure out some things on your own and I understand that. I'm here when you are ready to share. I've said what I've needed to, and shared what is going on with me. I know what I need to do for my own emotional health, which is to make the space in the R that we both still need through this confusing time. It is very important to me that you figure out what you want for YOU. My understanding is that right now this means that we should not be assuming an exclusive R in which we are open books with respect to our private lives. I hope for something else in the future, but it is my choice to accept this for now and see where things take us."
Man, I do not envy you GH, lol. What a sticky wicket! Then again, she might not run away, and you can't control whether she does or not...
