GH - May I suggest the "Scarlett O'Hara" rule? Leave it for 24 hours, plan to think about it tomorrow? Sometimes these things are a lot clearer if you leave them sit for a day.
As to how to approach your wife when you do - maybe you should write it down for her, instead of speaking to her? Might allow you to get what you want said without her interruptions or denials getting in the way?
