Really great stuff. I'm not sure what to do if W shuts down. I can tell you if I shut down, the last thing I want is for H to ignore me.
I'd probably want some hugs and nourishing touch, some comforting, validating, nondemanding words ("I know this is scary and hard. It is really OK for you to share with me.... These are hard and painful times for both of us... We can both really get to a better place, no matter what that turns out to be for each of us..."), and some encouragement to open up ("OK, that was alot to take in, lets just start with something small...") And, it would probably take a lot more of this kind of stuff than one might think for me to feel safe and become less defensive. It would take repetition and patience. But, I would feel abandoned by you and bad about myself if you left before we made some progress and worked through some things.
(I do not envy my H having to deal with me when I give every signal in the world that I want to just drop something and be left alone (like telling him that and leaving the room), when what I really want is the opposite, lol.)
