Today has been a good day for me so far except that I see no signs of my W softening her position to end our M. That makes me sad. That's also my reality, for now.
I took my children to church with me this morning. I love taking them. Reminds me that should my M end, I am NOT losing my whole family, I am losing my W. After church I called my W to let her know I was going to pick up some diapers for our S and was checking to see if she wanted me to pick up something for her or the house. She responded that she was hungry so I offered to take everyone out for breakfast. It was a nice time, but again, this is what I do to myself. Always reaching out for ??? Exactly, nothing. But I don't seem to be willing (capable?) to learn from my mistakes. Any advice all?
I took them all home and my W is talking about some friends of hers who are getting a D, "like mommy and daddy" she says to my D. I cringe. Again, my new mantra is, "It is what it is and I am where I am." I am hurting, but I am a fighter and I've got a heck of a chin. I am not at the quitting stage, much to her chagrin.
I decided to keep my feelings regarding our weekend time with our children to myself today. I do need your thoughts on the subject though. For right now, I would like to leave our weekend setup as 1 weekend with my children and 1 weekend without my children. I believe this setup will help facilitate my GAL. Hopefully we can work out a schedule to spend on-on-one time with our children individually, which we don't do now. Again, I am looking for insight into my sticky sitch. Good news is I'll be in my own place by the end of June, which is only 5-6 weeks away. THEN I will be able to GAL going full swing.
One last thing, my D5 is really acting up these days. My D often tells me she is mad b/c I don't live with her. Again, this makes my A that much more painful b/c see its impact on my D. Can anyone recommend a good children's story Bible that would be appropriate for a 5 year old? I'd love to read Biblical stories to my D at night.
Well, that's it for right now. More on my travails tomorrow.
