Quote: You are absolutely right, she is not the judge, the jury, the executioner and she sure is not my God so I do need to stop seeking redemption in her eyes, but in regards to my M, she is all of the above.
No. She's not. She just THINKS she is. She needs a reality check. This tit for tat stuff is getting you nowhere.
Quote: If she wants a D, I will show her what life will be like without the good parts of me.
Good way to start with the reality check.
Listen, you stumbled, you fell, you got dirty. You learned your lesson. You are worthy of respect and consideration and two wrongs never make a right. She has handled this with a pompous attitude from the get go. In all the time I was in my MLC - to include when my H found out about the OM - he NEVER disrespected me the way your wife is disrespecting you. I did much worse for far longer than you did and his treatment of me never went in this direction. Even when he got drunk. Would I have taken it? Only if it was leading towards healing and did no further harm. We have only recently begun to talk about things at length. I listen to him tell me about his anger and his pain because it is part of the healing process for us. It hurts me. I am ashamed all over again. But I have to go through it. He does, too. And we both have to remain standing tall, being honest and willing to work on things or this marriage will become another statistic. I'm not willing to let that happen. I pray you and your wife will get to this point. She needs to burn out. You giving her that reality check can aid in that process. You demanding the respect that you DO deserve because of your contrite heart and willingness to go the extra mile will also help.
