Quote: You were told by a DB coach to "act mysterious" when your W asks where you are?
Mysterious was MY choice of word, as was cagey. I know I need to win back her trust and respect, but nothing I am doing seems to be softening her armor. I know that will happen in HER time, not mine. I know that anything but a straight answer will be counterproductive.
I will try to get clarification from V when we speak next. I do so wish she wasn't leaving on a sabbatical. Perhaps I should start now with someone else who will be here to help me thru my sitch. I don't know. Any thoughts?
Last night was a real kick in the jewels. My nights with our children are T, TH, F, and every other weekend. Right now I need to care for our children at our home because of my currnet living sitch. My W was going to play softball last night, but the softball event was cancelled and she called me to tell me she was going to play pool (translation, go out on a date with one of her many new boyfriends). I said OK and hung up. Her GF brought her back home drunk later. My W called her GF and asked her GF to come and get her. I offered to go and pick up her car from the bar (stupid me) and also picked up food for her on the way back, at her request(again, stupid me). I brought the food and car back and left quickly. Thinking about it more this morning, I could have picked up our children and taken them to my sister's home because she was drunk and in no shape to drive. Hindsight again...grrrr! Next time. I am just documenting events now. Hopefully my documentation won't be needed.
Anway, this morning I spoke with my W about taking our D to a father, daughter dance. She has known about this dance for over 2 weeks. She asked me if I planned on taking our son to the dance and I said no, that it was not a father, daughter, son dance. Her curt response was, "Well I have plans. you'll have to figure something out to do with our son, because it's YOUR weekend. I am not changing my plans." Nothing like putting your need to go out dating ahead of caring for your children. I am talking about ONE evening because of my daughter's dance. Needless to say, I was flabbergasted and am still pretty miffed.
I ended up telling M W my plans with our children this weekend which is to go see my family on Sat and not return until Sun. Her response was, "Fine." I find this curious because she has always been so insistent that she see our son without too much time in between contact because he is almost 9 months old.
I also told her that giving her 100% of my pay to support the household was stopping. I have opened my own checking account and redirected my direct deposit. I will of course contribute to my children, but I am not going to support her fun/dating efforts any more. I need to take care of me, my children and setting up my new home.
All will be much more settled soon. I won't be subjected to her non-attempts at hiding her dating. Also, I will stop my constant "doing for" her. If she wants a D, I will show her what life will be like without the good parts of me. I constantly tell myself, be strong, stay hopeful, keep fighting the good fight.
