Quote: My affair was with a woman with loose lips and word leaked out to an acquaintance of my mother-in-law. My MIL confronted me and told me, "I don't know if this is true and I don't care, but if it is, it needs to stop NOW. I don't want my daughter hurt." It had already stopped, so that was not an issue. My mother-in-law then took it upon herself to inform my W's sister and brother of my mistake. My brother-in-law is an addict and is extremely unstable. He got drunk in February and came over to "kick my a**." So that's how my W found out about my horrible mistake. IMHO my MIL knew her son would behave in the way that he did. To make matters worse, my MIL has been the captain of the USS Infidelity herself. So much for expecting honor amongst those who betray their spouses. I know I didn't deserve any breaks in concealing my disaster. Bad judgement all around, especially ME.
I had a feeling she found out in a very dramatic way. So you can add humiliation to the pot of things she feels. UGH.
Okay, so you already know you have to show this guilty complex the way to the door. I am not trying to minimize what you have done at all. I definitely know what you are feeling. Been there, done that. But you will sit there and the wounds will fester and your marriage will die in the meantime. Stand up. TELL her you are sorry and all the reasons why. Tell her what you will be doing differently and then be prepared for the long walk it's going to be to prove yourself.
So where do things stand right now? Did you say if she'd seen a lawyer?
The only thing nagging at me HH, is that it seems like you feel she has always just been looking for a reason to divorce you. As if her heart was never in it in the first place. This can be a problem. But it is NOT on the table yet. You picking up your dignity is. So how's that working out today?
