Grasshopper asked me to hop over (no pun intended - oh what the heck, yes it was! ) to take a look at your sitch.
I'll confirm it. You have a nasty one, it's true.
You screwed up royally and shook the very foundation of your marriage.
Welcome aboard.
You can have this seat next to me .
I'll tell you what the primary thing is that you must do before you can be successful at any other strategy. Shed the guilt. You are dragging it around and it shows in everything you do. If you are sorry, God forgives you and now you have no reason not to forgive yourself. THAT MUST happen BEFORE your wife will even see you in such a light that she can even imagine TRYING to forgive you. You screwed up. So has every other human being. No one is without blemish. Yes, you broke the sacred trust between you and your wife, but do you know exactly when it was that you lost her respect? I'll tell you when it was. It was very minute you became a contortionist trying to satisfy her every want or need. ENOUGH of that! You made a mistake. A dreadful one yes, but here is what separates the men from the boys....did you LEARN from it? Do you now see the value of your wife, marriage and family through an entirely new set of eyes? I bet you do. THAT is a lesson that many people don't get. YOU did and it wasn't so you can lose everything you love and live in regret for the rest of your life.
A couple of questions for you:
1)How did your wife find out about the affair?
and
2)Did you get the opportunity to tell her exactly WHY you are sorry?
I apologize if my post seems harsh.
In a way though, it HAS to be and I know that from personal experience.
It takes a lot to walk outside of the wall of guilt you live within.
But I will help you get outside of it if you want to.
) to take a look at your sitch.
.
