You're very welcome Deejay. I just re-read some of your old posts to refresh my memory about what your sitch is. Damn, you were a mess, lol
I am SO glad you are making progress, and make no mistake about it, it is PROGRESS, not the end. You know that though.
I am also very glad you came back to post your good news. Not enough people do that. So many people, and I suppose it's understandable, feel pulled down by all the negative stories playing out here that when their stich takes a turn for the better, they haul butt and we never hear from them again. I don't begrudge them that, but I do want to give you appreciation for giving many here hope and inspiration to get through another day.
Quote: Just a month ago she was still living her single life and found out about another one niter kind of thing and this finally gave me the strengh to finally let go and stop the pursuit.I all the sudden was a more confident Man..I had other Women pursuing me(never engaged anything)but it made me feel good and My W picked up on this and really started feeling as though she was going to lose me and started to draw closer to me.
You got it! See, another example of DB's princepals working even though you didn't really DB so much as the natural evolution of your sitch took you to a place where you detached, GAL and improved yourself.
What we should all realize from deejay's post is that sooner or later, you WILL DB to some extent whether you want to or not so why not CHOOSE to do so now, when there is still a marriage to affect. This is the point of OT, NYS, and many others. CHOOSE to do these things that deejay has done before they are your only option. Choose to focus on you and lovingly detach. Choose to GAL and understand that your desirability, independence, strength and zest for life will do much more to attract the attention of your estranged spouse than begging, pleading and ultimatums ever will.
I don't mean to preach but reading back over deejay's posts along the way, and they weren't many mind you, paints an all too familiar portrait of someone who didn't DB very well in the beginning, or really the middle (sorry deejay) but in the end, probably gets it more than most of us do because he lived it and knows the power of what he's done with himself.
Deejay, I hope things work out wonderfully for you. I think you sound SO much better. Just realize that in order to MAINTAIN your new R with your W, you HAVE to remain where you are now, focused on self-improvement and owning the responsibility for your own happiness.
Please, post more as you see fit, here or in piecing.
