First of all i would like to thank people like Grasshopper,RBinBR,Old Timer,NYS,and many others i cant remember for helping me get through my sitch.I didnt post alot..i never though i was doing well enough to give advice,but i posted my own story and got much help from people on this board,and sometimes just reading your stories got me through many a night. My sitch Me 33 W 33 3 d's 12,9,7 Married 12 years Together 15 Bomb dropped Oct 05 May 06 GOING HOME!! I wanted to put some good news up on this board to give those who are thinking about giving up to hang in there. There was no way my marriage was going to ever survive. 2 weeks after Bomb found out about Op.. was an EA that eventually turned to a PA. I was a horrible Db'er! I did all the natural things...Beg..Plead..Cry...Gave several ultimatums....NOTHING!I was going through pure hell. Even after reading the great advice here i still insisted on pursuing and chasing my W.I did this for a good 4 months...Turns out the Op was a true loser and she was not seeing him that long but my insistance on begging,pleading and such drove her away.Just a month ago she was still living her single life and found out about another one niter kind of thing and this finally gave me the strengh to finally let go and stop the pursuit.I all the sudden was a more confident Man..I had other Women pursuing me(never engaged anything)but it made me feel good and My W picked up on this and really started feeling as though she was going to lose me and started to draw closer to me.I ve been staying back home now for about a week,and bring a few things back with me here and there.Things are going great!Better than i ever thought..We have had better sex than we ever had as a married couple(Legally Seperated Feb.06) and just tonite she told me crying that she was SORRY!and that she loved me. I take more than half of the responsibility for our downfall.I was Lazy...took my wife and my family for granted. I never imagined things would ever turn around,and not only that i feel like we are BECOMING closer than we have ever been. I did some horrible things in the beginning of my sitch that probably kept my wife away longer than she wanted.Looking back it was probably just as bad if not worse than the A itself. So no matter what you have done there is hope out there for many of us.The begging and such i think is just part of the process and when you finally stop and move on they dont know what to do..but they remember that you fought like hell..and they will remember you sticking by them when its all over.My W was a typical right out of the book MLC'er,and after reading as much as i could on this,i felt more and more compassion for her,and decided that even if we were not to be together i was going to be there for her. I know i have a long way to go..and am still a little scared of this whole thing right now..being as how the last 6 months have been nothing but lies and deceit,but i think we are going to make it to that picture all we LBS see us having with our S when this happens. I have went on a bit... so i will leave yall with a BIG thank you,and have so much respect for all who come here to save their marriage in the darkest of times. DeeJay