Johnswife, Congratulations on being able to keep hanging on! Your H is lucky to have you. You are willing to work on yourself, to try to let go of the blame and resentment, to keep working towards solutions. Yes, what does happen to the love as we get older. My marriage is only 7.5 years old, but by the time it was 3-4 years old the look of love had vanished. I guess the phermones (sp?) must have disappeared. Something else I was thinking about, I think our anger and resentment might be a way of us trying to regain control of the situation. If OS who have left came back apologizing and groveling, that puts US back in the drivers seat, doesn't it? We feel like WE have to power to decide whether they get to stay or go. I know that I am a bit of a control freak when things DIRECTLY effect me-- which unfortunately includes most of what my H does and dosen't do. And once I started thinking about the desire for him to apologize in that light, I was able to let it go easier-- since one of the things I am working hard on is not trying to control him. Just a thought. At any rate! Congrats, keep DBing, and enjoy the baby steps forward.
