Lead, Follow, or File... OH MY!

[Brian_M]

You may be right and I may be stupid. I am still optimistic. I still have faith. I need to be. She is my wife.

F4W I can very easily read how much pain your are feeling right now. Brother, I sympathize. In fact, I know exactly how you feel right now as I am inches away from loosing mine too. Like you, I would lay down my life for my W. Though, also like you, my W apparently is not sure she wants to commit to a M either. Thus, no matter how much we love or how devoted we are, sometimes love simply is not enough. I am not saying that this fact makes it hurt any less. However, accepting the reality of the situation is necessary for the pain to at least stabilize so that it does not overtake every bit of energy that you have left.

You W had an A a year ago. You forgave her and let her back into your life. Though, from that moment forward, any “proving” to satisfy doubt became her responsibility to you. Your W has now said very clearly that she wants a D, even after all the things she promised you after the A. In other words, she broke her promises and no longer wants to be in a M. I can imagine how rejected, hurt, and alone you must feel right now. Though, the key thing here is that you have to remember that you are a good person and that you do deserve happiness. Most importantly, you are a father and you have a responsibility to your children. The kids are going to be emotionally devastated over what is happening already. Though, you cannot as a responsible parent let them go through any more episodes like the one that you wrote about. If nothing else, for the sake of the kids, you really need to a resolution, and you need it now. With our without your W, you need to move on with your life, heal your soul, and have the strength to be the best father to your kids. Trust me, you are going to need every once of faith you have to accomplish that.

My heart goes out to you and I wish you strength.