Ah Ha. Yes I am misapplying that term then. If I understand it then enmeshing is placing the whole responsibility of getting my needs met from my wife rather than on my own. Fusion or bonding then would be the joint sharing of meeting those needs together and voluntarily?
Than I need more fusion Mr Scott!
Lillie,
I see your point. I guess sometimes I think, and read from others, that I may be to fixated on my emotions and see it is self-pity. I tend to try and dismiss them as such in an effort to move ahead.
In a normal (again that term is poorly defined) relationship I would be able to say to my wife without fear of ire, "Wife I miss you. I understand your need to apply yourself to your job and am supporting your decision to apply your time and energy there. Just letting you know I miss you." or something like that. But then I sometimes feel that may not be the self assured independant person she wants to "fuse" with.
Tough right now having to go it alone (YES IT MAY BE THAT WAY FOR A WHILE) basically with kids and work. Guess I could use some validation of my efforts from my wife rather than co-workers and friends who have commented in the past days about how amazed they are I can do this for 3 weeks straight out of the year with three boys. Those comments do make me feel better, but not as good as from the spouse or actions that show that acknowledgment. Nothing can compare with that I feel.
Through honest giving of my love I will recieve 10 fold in return.
Just because a person does not love you in the way you want, does not mean they do not love you!
