Nicola you are so clever you alway seem to have a knack of putting the hard stuff in easy to understand words now you make me feel like I need to go find an alpha male there must be one around here somewhere
Yes for so long this concept has been in my head but in a complex way. Never had the ability to explain it without going into some long diatribe. Now it is beautiful in it's simplicity. Even if I never have to use it as an explanation it puts it together in my own head and somehow turned it from a negative to a positive. Now that's awesome.
W seems even happier to be around me the last couple days. Something is different.
Yesterday an ex student walked in. His W is a WAW and a student. She's been incredibly manipulative and when he told us what was up it all became clear. His W has been cheating on him and making him out to be the bad guy restraining order and all. He's trying to keep from losing his child (which there was question whether or not it was his). It was a bad place for us business wise and could get worse. We stay out of the lives of our students but I felt in this case morally obligated to help since we have witnessed her behaviour and it's obvious she's an alien. This was a long discussion with him during which he told us that she has even told him that she never loved him at all and didn't know why she married him (very similiar in a way to what my W said to me originally " I didn't love you enough to marry you")
It all seemed so commonplace from being on these boards but it was emotionally gut wrenching for my W. It really seriously affected her. I kept my mouth shut.
My wife had originally said that our sitch was not fixable because she said ILYBINYLWY and said that was not like everyone else with troubles. Nobody else was in that sitch, it was just not like anybody else. Ha.
and her counselor told her so too.
oh well, it's the past and I'm certainly not going to rub that in her face.
I'm glad I was able to help, Xue. I was wondering if it would make sense to you, but I forgot how quick you are (seriously!). I've learned how to put complex information into simple forms for my students, and then the ones who get it ask for more...but that doesn't happen to often, unfortunately.
Interesting about the WAW sitch. I also thought the ILYBINILWY was specific to my M until I came here. Maybe now your W will see that she's not the only one.
I'm in the position now where I'm very comfortable being friends with H and I'm less sure that I want more. Anyway, it's not an issue right now, so I guess I won't worry about it.
~Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Close--I'm a yoga student. I teach English lit at a college. I really like my job, which is something I'm so grateful for.
I am pretty comfortable where I am, except I met a nice man at yoga, and it got me thinking about dating again. Argh--I don't even want to want that. But then again, what if I miss out on someone really good? Why is life so confusing?!
I went to see Superman Returns today. It was a little long, but I enjoyed it. The acting and the cinematography were very good, and there was love and adventure, too. As I was watching it, I was thinking of you because Superman and Lois Lane are the ultimate Alpha couple! She is such a headstrong, smart, fearless woman--yet she still wants to be with an even stronger man. And who better than a superhero? I was very sad for her SO, though, who loves her so much but it seems like it might be the end for him.
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
