So happy for you he called. I'll have to pop over and see if you posted about it on your thread.
I lived most of my life proud of not being a product of my childhood. Then one day I took a closer look and found remnants of days past. I quickly set about trying to figure out how to rid myself of them and I believe I've been pretty darn successful.
But every now and then I find another, albeit smaller remnant and I hastily go about fixing that too.
I've long been at a point where it makes no sense to look at the past and dwell there, only at solutions. I absolutely subscribe to the idea of looking only at solutions.
So occasionally when I say something is a product of the past it doesn't mean I'm going there. More of a casual recognition that it may have come from the past but who cares. Let's get on with fixing it.
With that said. I've been gone for a few days. Had to go help out my business partner. I could tell W wanted me to stay two nights but I only stayed one. I just had to get home to eat healthy and sleep in my own bed.
she was a bit dismayed that I came home early. This morning she said "I don't mind being alone". I guess that's better than the former "I want to be alone"
She also corrected me when I said "I" she said "You mean Us" It was kinda in refference to business I think.
Anyway I must show my emotions far more than I think because when we went to leave for breakfast she wouldn't let me drive because I "seemed preoccupied"
So I guess I must anger easily on a touchy subject and let it show when I don't realize I'm letting it show. These must be the instances that she perceives me as overbearing. Although when this happens I am trying to control myself at these times there must be something in my voice or expression that she picks up.
Two solutions I've come up with so far is
1) Stop drinking again. I started drinking wine again a while back. Not much, but I've realized that I'm more easily agitated the next day even if I only drank a small amount. I like reading lately anyway and I don't read if I drink.
2) Get back to jogging more. I stopped for the last few weeks, 100 plus temperatures and my dog was recovering from being spayed so no running partner. We start again tommorrow.
I've also noticed that W keeps mentioning going up the hill to do some stuff for her but never goes. I try to show indifference when she says she's going. I think this has something to do with it. I think she still somehow feels "trapped". I am working hard on getting rid of anything that may appear to trap her. Such as appearing upset when she wants to leave. Opening the cage door as much as I can. Letting her realize she is not trapped.
I really don't know how these ideas got so strongly embedded in her mind but they are.
In the meantime I've gotten better at doing things for me. Reconnected with a training partner and we're going to start working out again.
Funny she says she wants to leave for the day, wants to be alone and then ends up going with me and having a great time. Go figure.
Well I know I need to become less predictable and pull away some. That would seem to be the answer.
