Well considering that where we are is pretty close to what she said she wanted in counseling then I'd say yes she's comfortable.
She apparently can stay in this state for a very long time.
I see things have gotten a little better each week. But so very little. Things are slightly more affectionate.
Yes I plan on making things a little less comfortable and being less predictable. I had a plan for that last night. She was going to go up the hill to take care of some things up there. She actually asked if I preffered she go last night or the next. I said to go ahead and go but to leave me with the nicer of our two cars. I was going to go out. I didn't say why I wanted the car but I do know she fully expected me to just hang here and even asking that might have been a surprise. Believe me I planned on surprising her much more.
She never left. She hung around doing laundry and such until I finally said I was cooking dinner and would she like some. She then said that she just couldn't seem to get out of here so she'd rather stay. Later she made the point that she wouldn't be going at all.
I've been doing little thins to pull away. Not being quite so available. Actually I'm kinda doing what got me into this mess in the first place, I go to my computer in the morning instead of her.
I debate in my head all the time, words or actions, which is going to solve this. And I know it is actions.
I do think she is more confused than ever. She shows more affection and definetely wants to be with me. But some wrong thinking is confusing her.
She does seem to get nervous about my actions very easy. Last week when I was packing to take her on the surprise date and she saw it she got very inquisitive but tried to act like she wasn't.
So yes I need to GAL hard.
It's been hard because I get of work late at night in a small town. There is nowhere to go. We have the most social place in town, there is nothing else.
This week is going to be busy for me but I'll be gone a lot. Maybe there is opportunity there.
Yes, without a doubt I know I need to upset the status quo. She sabotages my efforts though. Maybe next time I'll just go out anyway.
We are right at the two year mark. It's been two years right about this week since I've gotten any. This is why I've been more frustrated the last week or so. Really it's just a number but I'm starting to get to the enough is enough stage.
Some days I really love her. Other days my frustration overshadows that.
I know she figures that if I go out I'm probably vulnerable and I am. One of the things she married me for is my extreme loyalty. She was very secure in that I would never mess around on her. That was really a big thing for her since she came from several relationships that were much different than that. One guy she dated was a married man and had a half dozen young girls on the side. They all thought he was going to take them away and marry them.
So I am way to predictable and way to trusted. She knows where I'll be, she knows what I'll do. She used to love me for that but I'm sure that quality is percieved as something different now.
This path of listening and quality time has taken me a long ways to fixing this marriage. Learning the marriage skills I have learned have brought me to this point. I do think that she might even want back in our bed. Her language says so at least more than it used to. But there is no reason to make it tonight. and tonight and tonight...
Her independent woman language has gone away also. Like I said before the I's and me's have turned to we's. But the idea is still slightly there.
Her sister is recently married but made her fortune on her own. She is very wealthy. I think W really looks up to that and wants to be that. But never takes into account the price her sister paid. She got where she is by sleeping with one of the richest guys in the state. She worked hard also but she definetely had a boost. And he was a terrible person, she had a miserable life. But W only sees the end result.
Actions, actions, actions. I need to rock this boat.
