you seem to have lots of opportunities to have very indepth discussions without the arguements usually involved in differences of opinions you also seem to be getting closer and closer to being able to ask outright so what's going on here - what are you thinking?
I know that DB says not to do the R talk but I think you may have gone beyond that -
the situation with your brother may just have been one of those opportunities to say - well he probably asked because I'm his brother and he may also have asked because from the outside it may look like we have solved all our problems from last year????
this kind of leaves it like you think they are not all solved but outsiders think they are solved and it may elicit some input from your W as to what she is thinking
she seems to be pretty happy with the way things are going but they are not where you want them so I guess how long do you keep things the same without makeing a change and seeing what happens
remember at the beginning make a change and watch the results
what would happen if you went out and didn't say anything about where you were going and hence didnt give her the chance to come along I don't know I guess I am thinking of creating a situation that required discussion
I really think you need to look out for opportunities to discuss where you both think you are at in all this
the alternative is to GAL big time on your own and act like two friends sharing a place together who just happen to get on well what would she think if she thought you were not happy with things the way they were and she thought you had decided to get on with your own life and not hang about anymore
I don't have any insight into the being independent and being married mind set she has except that it may be some kind of protection thing she has used for so long it is just a learned behaviour thing
I still don't think she is as self confident as she appears otherwise she wouldn't have the overwhelming need to be independent and smart and everything else
if people think I am some kind of dumb female I figure that is sad for them - I don't get defensive as I know I am not and don't need to prove it to anyone
she seems to like people ackowledging her independence strong female stance which seems to me to be a bit false
also when you have done things alone she has tagged along either at the last minute or made it clear she is coming too
I really do think you may have been in the lets communicate better about us stage
to be able to talk about what each sees for the future to discuss hopes dreams goals etc sounds like she doesn't know how to do it for fear of it becoming a war to be won something that someone has to win or where someone is right and therefore someone wrong
I don't know but I do think you need to go back to basics and do something different experiment a little and get the communication happening between you a bit better
