Winter is getting very old. maybe the groundhog will come out today and say winter is almost over.
Ginny, haven't heard from you. Chelsea either. And JW you are basking in the california sunshine i am sure.
i went to the sbt person last night. she explained that her appraoch is at right angles with the regular counselor i have been seeing (feelings-emotions etc). i am a list maker and a direction taker type person so i think the sbt is so much better for me. i am also going to do another phone consultation with the guy from michele's office/suggestion. (michele was busy and her office recommended this guy. that was before xmas)
anyway, the counselor, carol, told me that what makes my situation truly difficult is that h left ten days after youngest went to college so the empty nest alone is a loss. she told me to concentrate on that part first. to figure h is still around but busy and to fill my time as if he were still living home. and as far as detachment, she explained that was important but not to cut off contact. so heeding that advice, i called him about 10 last night to tell him about somethings at school, thank him for the check he left and other mundane things (not the relationship). he didn't answer at his place and i got upset so i used his cell phone number. he was in the ER and i immediately hung up. he never called back. i worried. called him this a.m. and again no answer. figured he was in shower...waited and paged him...he called back. supposedly he slept at the hospital and was enroute now to his place to shower and change and go to work. he got three cases yesterday (his day off) and was stressed. he got angry at me. i waited fifteen minutes. called him back and softly said, 'please do not be angry about me for caring about you.' his reply: 'ron, you know how stressed i get when cases pile up and that is how i feel and i can't be bothered with talk about us that will upset me.' my answer: i worry about you. and i know how you get. maybe i didn't show you when i should have but i understand. i only wanted to share my day with you, my best friend.' his answer'that's ok. i will talk to you tonight.'
I did it...no relationship talk...talked quietly...didn't critize him. felt good.
so sbt homework is to make a list of all the things i do in the next two weeks for myself to take care of myself.....and to investigate other things to do. she said it is important that i fill the time, same as i would have had to do with #4 gone and h at home.
hope this works because i can't do this alone thing much longer.
