Really glad to hear from you. Hope all is great with you.
Yes I certainly do remember that conversation. I remember it all the time. We're together all the time. It's a great thing that we get along so well and want to be together all the time but I know it's not healthy.
W said once that marriage was designed back in the day when men were gone for months at a time. Although I don't totally agree with that I certainly do see the point. I definetely need to make myself a little more scarce and it would be good for me too.
I realize the low level of anxiety I always have around her. It just my own vigilance and fear of rejection but it's there. It's been there for nearly two years. I also realize that it is very hard for me to be happy with that there. This getting away will be good for me in that respect. I discovered it when she was trapped in the snow for a few days. I didn't have to worry about things. So strangely, at the present time I am happier without her being around although I love being with her. I realize that this is mostly my own issue and something for me to work on but the break from it will do wonders for me I'm sure.
Things have been really good between us. There just seems to be no reason for her sleeping on the couch. But my T said once that this really is probably going to be just an issue of my patience. I understand that now. W just really needed and maybe still needs the time to find herself and get through this crisis.
I also realize how badly the bad people coming around affects her. They have been pulling their tricks lately and we really refrain from retaliating in any way. But it affects both of us not to. We so badly want to to something back (and can( but we don't. We just really know it is not the thing to do. It creates a lot of stress in our lives.
A number of people have noted that it's a real good thing that I'm taking some time off. My stress must show through.
Thanks for checking in. It's amazing that the only person I talk to about this is on the opposite side of the world. I tell noone here. That's a little hard but I know there is no benefit in telling anyone here. As a matter of fact I think if I had things wouldn't be this good.
Have a great week if I don't talk to you. I'm leaving Tuesday and won't be back til the following week.
