hi, i am not sure when or even if i will ever get here but I was reading looking for hope... When i read about you trying to get over some of your anger and fear because of OW. There is a Gary Smalley book called (I think) Keeping the Love Alive. The entire first half deals with releasing anger and was very good for me when i read it...I am not dealing with OW situation, but still had anger...anyhow i ended up giving it to my H a while back when I was in my begging stages...and have not read it in a while, but Something you may want to read.
Laura