hi. i have been away for a while. i read your postings and wonder what i am doing wrong. my h is still set on ending this marriage. the separation will be five months next week. we moved here (from california )four years ago on 2/10 with promises. i want to send him an anniversary card to remind him. he keeps asking me, 'what are we going to do' and when i say i want to try, work on it, go away for a while together, all he can say is that he has told me how he feels. i told him that for the first time in 40 years i feel i can not share with him. he has become very selfish and i find myself crying all the time now just like i did five months ago. i don't think i can do this much longer. i go to SBT person tomorrow (got snowed out last week) and i know she will tell me to take care of myself and forget him and us for a while. but the longer this goes on i feel like i am losing whatever is important. we have both daughters getting married this year and i asked him if he could consider working on this until the october wedding...we needed a united front now and i also told him i can't do this. he said i am strong. i said that he and God have been pushing me to the limit. i am so afraid. he is supposed to come by tonight. when i arrived home last night after being gone since wednesday i kept hoping he would show up to watch the superbowl. then the ER called and i couldn't track him down since his cell phone was not on. finally got in touch wit his brother who got in touch with him and he called me. i asked him if he was back in his place and he said no he was en route from watching the game. i asked why he told me he had no plans..he said it was on the spur of the moment...oh sure...some people from the hospital and probably OW. he asked didn't i have friends. he doesn't understand other women think this is catching and for him it is easy. i know nothing is black and white but i need steps to follow. i asked him what i can do. i do not blame him. i am reading 'how one can bring to together' or something like that by susan page...but it seems like when i get to the part about why you should end a relationship...his attitude fits the reasons and i can not accept this reality...and that is my problem. what did yo guys do when you truly thought it was over...or did you always have that glimmer of hope. help me please. i am falling off a cliff.
