Hi Folks thought I would let you know I am hanging in there and we are progressing although slooowly.
I was geting frustrated that things just were not happening as fast as I wanted which translates into my H was not being as loving and attentive as I thought a betrayer should be when he realizes all that he has done to you. After a couple of days of me not being my cheery self my H asked me to please get happy again because my sadness was killing him. So I took another look at the situation and reminded myself the therapist told us both to treat our relationship as a very fragile thing right now. So OK I picked myself up and chewed myself out. Now I am doing fine.
Patience is still key when it comes to putting your marriage back together. I hope that in time my H will want to please me enough to do the little things I want him to do. Last night we talked a little and I asked him to explain to me why after years of asking him to bring me a flower once in awhile he still doesn't get it. So OK he is not the romantic type but when he is given a map and directions and has the time and the money why can't he just do it? He said he doesn't know why. OK so I will keep trying to teach him.
But honestly things are going well. I think we are learning to be each others best friends all over again. He acknowledges that he had a MLC even though he never though it would happen to him. He had seen others go through it before and used to think they were nuts and it would not happen to him. He swears it will never happen again and I won't ever have to worry about what he is doing again. He doesn't talk about his relationship with OW unless I ask him a question and then he does answer it honestly without getting upset. He says he understands that it is going to take me awhile to put his betrayal behind me.
For those of you who know my H is an insulin dependent diabetic with some vascular disease developing I have a little good news. My H now wants to quit smoking. It is essential to him if he wants a chance to watch the granchildren grow up. Nothing he has tried before has worked. I started talking to people about this problem and was told of many who had quit with the help of hypnosis. Our therapist recomended someone to us and H has an appointment next week. I think he is more motivated this time to quit because of his health problems and because he really wants a particular new vehicle. He knows that if he quits smoking that alone will free up enough money to buy the vehicle and pay insurance on it. So lets all keep our fingers crossed that this works for him.
I think this is probably long enough for now but I will be back after we listen to tape 3 and 4 of the Keeping Love Alive tapes.
[This message has been edited by Johnswife (edited 01-22-2000).]
