Good morning SAM and Wesse. Thankyou for your replys and your support.
Yesterday H and I took a long drive in a scenic area and listened to Michele's first tape in the Keeping Love Alive series. It helped open some communication between us about what happened and how we are doing now and the future. And guess what, my H thanked me for the way I handled this whole situation and all I have done to save our marriage. WOW that felt so gooood. We talked about his needs and my needs. Yes Wesse I have the book. I asked him if he felt that we were going to make it and he said sure we are and squeezed my hand. I think I have to agree with our therapist now that we have made tremendous progress. The tape told about how men and women have different ways of communication and very different ways of trying to feel connected in a relationship. Most of this was review for me after 6 months of reading everything I could get my hands on but I felt a strong need for my H to understand the things that I have learned to so he could see that all of this is so common and that by working together we can have a better marriage than either of us thought possible.
Wesse patience has been the hardest thing for me too. Neither H nor I are strong in the patience category but we are learning. I do have His needs Her needs and After the Affair, The Case Against Divorce and probably 5 or 6 more. Divorce Busting being the first book I bought after finding this site. I am sure Barns and Noble stock went up during my pursuit of answers and help. LOL. Some I have read cover to cover like Divorce Busting and some I have read parts of. I really like Frank Pittman's Grow Up.
I am feeling pretty good right now. My H's involvement with the OW isn't hard for me to understand. Before this happened he was my best friend and we did have a great relationship that over a few years went through some major problems. Work schedules that put him and OW together 50 or 60 hours a week and left no time off during the same hours for H and I to spend together. We were two ships passing by each other. I would be on my to work just a few minutes before he was getting home from his full time job and he would be gone to his part-time job where OW also worked before I got home and I sometimes didn't see him at all except for a few hours maybe on the weekend. No relationship can handle that over a long period. Big problem and no matter how much I asked for time with him he always put his jobs first. Well we have learned the hard way that "we" must always come first. From now on we will both work day shift jobs and have our off work time together. I don't have to see OW the way you do and lucky for the Slug I haven't accidently run into her either.
Our little grandson is now 12 weeks old and weighs almost 12 pounds. He is wonderful and we both adore him. There is no better feeling in the world than to hold that wonderful warm soft little body next to your chest and look into those little blue eyes. My H and I love to talk about all our plans of things we want to do for and with our grandchildren. H can't hardly wait for him to big enough to play with. Right now we hold him alot and rock him and just talk to him about all kinds of things he doesn't understand but he seems to like the attention. We can't wait for trips to Disneyland and Little League and all that stuff.
You said you thought we were close in age. Well I am 48 and H is 51. Our daughter is 27 so it was time we became grandparents. Another very rewarding thing is my daughter has become even closer to me. Now that she is a mom she seems to understand me a lot more and has even told me she is surprised at how much time and attention a baby takes and she is surprised at how much she worries about the baby. I told her welcome to Motherhood and not to worry he is just fine.
Gotta go crawl back in bed with H and snuggle. It is very early in the morning here on the west coast and I want to snuggle a little before we start this new day. I'll check back here later.
