I have not posted much on my thread as I have been following and posting on others.
It has taken me now almost 8 months to disect and analyze just what had gone wrong with our marriage. I have become aware, awake and alive. There is no turning back.
I have realized and accepted that for me, how well my expressions of love are accepted and apprieciated determines my level of happiness. Maybe in is that I have a small cup and it does not need much filling or maybe I would just rather be trying to fill my W's cup.
Where are we now...
Together we are working at rebuilding our marriage. I think that we have identified what each of has done to destroy our previous marriage (I use the word figuratively) now we have to move forward.
I think that I have made great progress is discovering who I am and what is important to me. I have accepted that if my W had left it would be her choice and I could live with that. I do know also that I want to be with her for the rest of my life and that I choose. She has told me that she wants the same.
What we struggle with now is intimacy... I have long since seperated intimacy from sexual fulfillment although I believe that they certainly are mutually compatable. I believe the breakthrough will come when my W opens up to me and lets go of her fears of abandonment. Each day I slowly see a regaining of trust and this translates to slightly more personal converstaions and a closer connection...
