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We did manage a little conjugal visit. H actually organized the kids and initiated. He did complain that I wanted a "bunch of foreplay." I don't really call 5/10 minutes a "bunch." This is a hurdle that we often have. A lot of times H is willing to have sex but wants to "skip the foreplay." I'm all for quickies on occasion but he will say this and not be aroused when we start. So then, how are we to "have a quickie with little to no foreplay" when he isn't aroused yet? Seems to me that you gotta have some foreplay in that case. This very scenario is part of why I get so hung up with H and the whole arousal issue. I can understand if a man comes to me with a raging hardon and just wants to do me real quick. I can even get into that. I categorize this in my head as "hey, he was just really feeling hot, very cool." When my H comes to me unaroused and wants minimal touching and a quickie I have an entirely different way of thinking about this.



Yeah, that really s*cks. It's like the difference between someone saying "I'm starving. Can you whip me up a nice juicy burger real quick so I can wolf it down." and someone saying "I'm not all that hungry and too lazy to cook, so could you just make me a burger real quick so we can get dinner out of the way.". You are going to have to figure out a way to communicate about this or I predict you will soon be boiling with resentment, if you aren't already What do you think your H's reaction would be if you used my line "How about I just go ahead and build you a handicapped ramp to my p*ssy, no stairs or foreplay necessary.".

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver