Ahhhh... the card thing... My best girlfriend (also a 4) and I talk about this... you stand there in front of the cards and try to find one that captures the complicated position you find yourself in. You don't want to say too little, and you don't want to say too much. You want some distance, but not so much that it alarms him. You want the card to honestly reflect where you stand right now.
For my late H, I used to buy the "You are my everything cards," but for my bf... no, can't do it. Sometimes I resort to one that's sweet but funny. For Valentine's Day this year, I got him one that was perfect. It was a sweet cartoon of a bear couple in different life situations and the sentiment was sort of like, "You've seen me dressed up, messy, energetic, tired, mad, sad, glad (but in a cute rhyme), but (the punch line) you've never seen me when I didn't love you." It had the perfect affectionate, sassy, yet "knowing" honest tone.
I remember many years ago (1978), I knew my then-bf's and my R was on the rocks when we exchanged Valentine's cards that were generic New Age-y "we passed each other on the Road of Life" cards. It was pretty clear that indifference was taking over....
