I KNOW you're tired of books, but I feel "Come to Your Senses" would really help you differentiate from your H's mood and get a sense of being a separate, whole, healthy human being. Your feelings and your desire to express them are completely normal. When you love, it is absolutely normal to want to express your love. I feel this book would also give you permission to reach out to him physically and emotionally any time you want to and as much as you want to, no matter how he responds. You will be free to express your love as much as you want to, and his reaction or lack of same will not hurt or damage you.
Emotionally though is is different. Emotionally it feels like foisting oneself upon an unwilling party when bids for affection are not reciprocated. Emotionally, it feels unsafe like choosing to be a doormat. There is a part of me that rises from the ashes of my emotions and says, "Gddamnit, I am worth more than this. I deserve to be loved and cared about it. I am a good person and not bad looking either."
