Oh karen, your sitch is so painful to read about...
I KNOW you're tired of books, but I feel "Come to Your Senses" would really help you differentiate from your H's mood and get a sense of being a separate, whole, healthy human being. Your feelings and your desire to express them are completely normal. When you love, it is absolutely normal to want to express your love. I feel this book would also give you permission to reach out to him physically and emotionally any time you want to and as much as you want to, no matter how he responds. You will be free to express your love as much as you want to, and his reaction or lack of same will not hurt or damage you.
Sorry to keep hammering on this-- it's because I care and because I truly believe it will give you some relief.
I've taken St. John's Wort-- not sure if it did me any good, but it's widely taken in Europe for depression and I doubt if it would interact with anything he's taking.
