Sorry I missed your post earlier. I thought I was on the Karen sh!t list. Glad to see I'm not though Anyways.. I have lived the life of a miserable M before and a D and there will never be a time that I will use our committment as an excuse to do nothing. That is a great attitude to have. You need to stick with that and hope that your H comes around to seeing the wisdom in that line of thinking. His words say that he cares about our M "reduce stress, say no to others more often, talk more, blah..blah...blah." His every day choices and behaviors tell a different story. The story they tell is that he wants us to stay disconnected, that he prefers to have sex on an irregular basis, that affection is not a priority, that I am not a priority. I used to be a big believer in WORDS. "H says things are good so they must be good." WRONGO! Actions speak louder than words for sure. Actions are what you need to concern yourself with. Words are easy! And often not truthful. The way people behave (I think) tells the real story. "you just don't seem to understand that I can be really mad at you and still love you." My question - "love me like what? This is what I am saying. I have no doubt that he loves you. But where is he showing it? My H and I have really been focusing on this aspect of our M and it has helped a lot. If you can somehow get your point across that you need to see positive actions from him and not just him reminding you "but I love you" during and after the negative actions. Your love bank is in the negative.
