I would be very glad to share what has made the difference in my marriage. First of all patience is probably the most important and most difficult trait that I have had to learn. I am not a patient person but I found that without it I was the king of backslides. Every time I saw my W I wanted to hold her and show her effection. WRONG!!!! What had to happen was I needed to be her best friend first. Only showing her the good stuff about me and being Mr Wonderful. Its tough but over time I actually developed some pretty cool habits like opening car doors and bringing flowers over and just showing her what kind of person she really married. Next step was to BACK OFF and give her the space that she needed. That was tough as well but I found that as I let her do her thing and began to do my thing at the same time, we began to want to do our things together again.
Smile lots and be happy. I know its easier said than done but if you display a sad and melancholy attitude, that might make reconcilliation more difficult and further away. Remember, use this time to improve yourself and focus on going forward with your life. One of the most wonderful things about my W is her ability to keep herself mentally strong and positively directed. When I see that during tough times, it melts my heart and sends it soaring for her.
Patience, space, and love yourself. And one last thing: when we go through times like this, it's 10% of what happens to us but it's 90% of how we handle it that makes the difference in the long run. Stay here with the fantastic people on this site and you will get just as much, if not more, than what you put into this in return.
Chelsea, Sonia & Johnswife:
Thank you for your words of kindness. We are all winners here regardless of how it ends up. This has been the toughest time in my life, bar none. But I have also grown more in the last few months than I could ever had imagined.
