So I wrote H a little email to say thanks for dealing with all the home stuff the last couple of nights. I needed to rest just so I could go to work during the day. H wanted me to take today off but it isn't that restful to chase a toddler all day so I decided to go to work. When I got to work I not only thanked H again via email but I told him that I was feeling much better and was hoping to "show him" how much better. Predictably I got a p!ssy little answer from H. He said that he had no idea how much toll that these procedures would take on our family, that we need to schedule ourselves more carefully next time, that we just keep getting less and less sleep (because I was in pain tossing and turning for a couple of nights) and that he felt frustrated and "didn't know what to do with his pain." WHAT??? No answer to my little fliration either of course. I don't know what else I am supposed to do. I am working FT, caring for children, trying to be a loving spouse, trying to have some personal life (reading, exercising), taking fertility meds and undergoing procedures and I am now supposed to......what?...ensure that all of that is always predictable and everyone gets 40 winks. Give me a break.
I wrote him back and said that I was sorry it was so difficult, that I was confused by his frustration and felt like a burden. Not a very differentiated response probably but I basically interpreted his words as telling me that he is frustrated by my being less of a helpmate the past few days and further that because I am less of a helpmate that he won't play my game and act like a lover.
Yeah ok. I'm being p!ssy back. It is just in my head and by the time I get home I will have myself in check.
