I am probably one of the world's least patient persons. It killed me after my H's EA was abruptly ended by my big stick that he acted so loving but would not say the words. Our therapist told me to be patient because he wanted to be absolutely sure when he told me - that he was determined not to lie or mislead me about this as he had so many things during the EA. The one truth he's maintained was to not say ILU. While he was having great passionate sex with his wife and professing undying love for ow, he felt he was keeping his bond with her by not telling me that he loved me. This man had perfected the art of having cake and eating it too. Sounds just like a lawyer doesn't it?
Cynical me thinks his delay also had a lot to do with pride. I think he felt like he'd really look like a fool to be professing undying love for ow one day and to me shortly after being caught. Also, I think his ego was smashed by the cold facts where once more the responsibility of looking after our family had fallen to me. He was something like a kid wanting so badly to successfully accomplish somedthing all by himself. He was truly ow's all powerful faultless knight and this was an image he liked. I want him to be strong, but he was overwhelmed being the big fish in a pool of love struck guppies. I don't know how much of this might also be true with your H.
Your H's apology sounds like he is truly beginning to accept responsibility and to apply reason to what he did. I think this is one giant but very hard step forward for someone coming our of the dreamlike world of an EA or EMA.
I also empathize with your feelings of anger and hurt, but I can only say it takes a great deal of strength (which you've proved you have) and time (which it now seems you will have). Hang in there and stay in touch with your friends and supporters here.
