Jenny I am thrilled for you!! Can you see me whooping and hollering? Yeah my friend Jenny has made it to this board.

I think you have really hit the mark as to why I haven't been as happy as I thought I would be at this point. I too do not feel secure or loved completely yet. I guess this must be pretty normal from what I read on your other replys.

My H for the first few weeks kept talking as if he was not going anywhere and finally when I didn't respond to something he said with enthusiasm he asked me what was wrong. I said you haven't even said I Love You yet and you are making plans like nothing has happened. He said he was painfully aware that he had not said those words yet. I told him he had to slow down a bit. The next day he said I Love You for the first time in a long time. He does say it now more easily and seems happy with his decision to stay and that is good. I think it is going to take some time for me to feel secure again so for now I still have a little guard up. So give your H a little more time he will get there. The other thing bothering me now is that I have changed a lot to meet his needs and make him happy and I expect him to put out the effort to learn to be a better H too. I have to tell myself that this too will take time. We are at different stages of our journeys so he needs time to catch up to me I think.

Communication skills I believe is what my H and I need to work on. In the past he has not been able to express his feelings because he is a conflict avoider. So while things are good here we still have a lot of work to do.

Jenny your good news has made my day. I have been praying that you would be here soon and now you are. Keep doing what you have been doing. I am curious did you pull back and get on with your life like we talked about? Do you think that is what made your H start thinking more clearly? It sure seems that our H's have to see that we are ready to go on without them before they begin to see that what they really want is right there at home.

[This message has been edited by Johnswife (edited 01-05-2000).]