Suz, I decided to read the whole thread, my comment is I'd separate from him for a while. I'd read the part in Dbusitng which suggests totally detaching. If this doesn't work I'd suggest leaving him. This is out of the blue for me but I know how hard it is with my H but the drinking is making it harder.
He needs to get help with his drinking because otherwise your both going to be going in circles. Sorry this is my 2 cents.
You don't have to put up with this, it seems that he is piling all his problems on to you, He is an adult you shouldn't have to stay up all night like his mommy. You need to get him to face up to things and as Covenant said sometimes leaving is all one can do. He has been in your husband position.
