Rich, thanks! It seems to be getting easier. I am so used to my friends comming to me with a whirl wind of problems going through their minds and helping them my usual way. So I could have easily slipped up with my H. Hey ya know, I think that was one of the things that botherd me! so many people appreciate and are thankful when i help them sort through their problems when he is resentful and thats how I feel misunderstood and unapreciated by him. I guess thats where I felt so frustrated with him. Changing the way I help him makes him apreciate me. Today he called from work very happy to just hear my voice and tell me how pleased he is with how nice and clean our house is.
He came home after a really tough day today, and was still very nice and very apreciative of me.
So is this due to him feeling suported by me? or is this that same cycle we keep going through where he blows up then is nice because he feels bad for blowing up at me when I didnt deserve it.
I have to say active listening is definitly much easier now. at first it was really hard to control myself when I felt there was so many obvious solutions to point out. Its nice that he dosnt get mad at me for giving advice, plus its very frustrating when you give solutions to only hear them be shot down out of negativity. I see now what Chris meant about it being so much easier.
yes he has a job that is very much like a pressure cooker. So he should then learn how to deal with the stress. we all have stress that we need to learn to release. I am not trying to minimize his stress level, I just know its not solving anything the way he is dealing (or not dealing) with it now.
Chris, ahhhhhhh! I guess I am going to have to go buy that book. At Christmas my sil told me she had the book and was going to send it to me. I have sent her reminders, but havnt seen the book yet. Since she is pregnant I dont want to keep bugging so I guess I shall just go get it already. If I can I will tomorrow if not then Monday I will for sure.
I am pretty sure we are suffering from role reversal here. He is so much more emotional then I, and complains I am not emotional enough??? Yet says I am very loving, caring and affectionate... I just dont get extremely wound up over everything, I usually keep my cool. He says I am just like my father! LOL in school I always excelled more on the things that they say are usually more dificult for girls and natural for boys. so I am defective!!! LOL
