I think you handled the situation well. You realized your normal way of analyzing the problem would not work and changed your tactics. I tend to give advice and move on too but some people don't respond to that.
As far as what is normal? Maybe if your H really feels that you are supporting him that will make him less tense and ratchet down his stress level? Then you won't need to be on 24 hr alert.
Although with that type of job it seems he will always be in a pressure cooker.
