I know what you are saying about only focussing on a few. My head gets spinning if I try to follow too many. I am to the point now that I just go where I am asked for help. I do peak in on a few once in a while if i have time, to see how things are going but I have slowed down on my posting.
perhaps I am finding the right balance. This year I want to spend a lot more time on my real life! I put in a great deal of time here and learned so much, and I think it was well worth it. Now its time I start really moving forward with me.
I am gettin MS office, and going to learn all of it inside and out. So hopefully I can get a job. I am also working more I my training program for getting read for this summers triathalons... oh do I have my work cut out for me! Since I have been on Paxil and spending alot of time sitting at the computer, I have put on 10lbs!!! of course my H says I look so much better now and he dosnt want me getting all sucked up again, as he puts it. LOL! well I am taking charge of my life and creating my own stablility for myself... He can do his thing.
Last night he came to bed drunk and bitching at me. I started to talk with him and then caught myself... and just reminded myself there is no sense talking to a drunk. I tried to tune him out, it was hard. He was complaining about me of course, and telling me about how I dont know what its like in the real world to have real problems. He is under a lot of stress right now at work and I sat and talked with him for quite a while yesterday, did a lot of listening and didnt try to solve his problems just practiced some active listening.
A friend he has worked with for 7 years was walked off the job yesterday with accusastions of bringing drugs into the prison. That sucks! My H had no idea and he is pretty upset about it. This guy also had been trying to get my H to give him money for a while for him to "invest in stocks" for him. My H just kept telling him he dosnt have any money, Thank Goodness!!! also an inmate kept asking my H to give messages to this guy but my H said no. Had he given just one message he could have been fired for being part of this thing. thats scary! My H says most likely an investigation has been going on for a while and his office has been most likely taped and phone too. Which actually is a good thing because it will show that my H wasnt involved in anything going on. So now he is upset about this and of course I just wouldnt understand about real problems. No I just have to worry about where my life is headed living like this thats all of my minute nothing problems.
well I still feel good today so I am going to try to stay that way.
