I'm just going to jump right in here and throw in my two cents.
I think you mentioned that your H works as a guard in a prison. (I'm sorry if I'm getting the facts wrong - I haven't read all your posts). Is it possible that he would be less stressed out and therefore easier to live with if he changed his job. My somewhat limited experience with prisons and inmates (I'm a lawyer, not a former inmate...) makes me think that that's one of the all time high-stress jobs.
I know that changing jobs is not so easy. But the thought occurred to me and I wanted to ask you about it.
I hope you're OK and I wish you and your family a very, very happy new year!!! Jane
