I'm going to try to step into Blackfoot's shoes for just a minute, I hope I don't do his point injustice, but I'll try.
What you are describing doing, aggresively initiating sex by grabbing him and having your way with him is not biologically congruent. That is what you might call alpha male behavior and is not likely to produce the response that you want. I'm not in any way saying that women should never be aggressive in a relationship, there is definitely a place for it, when the relationship is on track. You are basically in a situation in which you need to "restart" the intimacy. Think of you and your H as basically strangers from an intimacy perspective. For the most part, during the courting phase, it is the male that initiates most of the intimacy. I guess what I am trying to say is that you might get a very sound rejection, not because your H isn't interested, but because on a primal level it isn't the "way its supposed to be."
I hope that makse sense, and you realize that I am going out a bit on a limb in my analysis. I know I haven't mastered the biological side of R's yet, so please take this with a little more skepticism than you might ordinary advice. I just hope I can give a different perspective for you to think about it.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
