Talked to the wife about my feelings. By the way, part of my 180 is expressing my feelings to her. I never did before, she always said that I kept my heart on high a shelf. Well now, I tell her all of my feelings good and bad. She loves that I confide in her now. Actually me too. I told her how I have been taking the little "NO's" as signs of rejection. She was very kind and listened to what I told her, then asked how she could help. I told her that she is doing great, that its just me overcoming our recent hell. I felt really relieved when I confided in her. This is new to me. I have never shown anyone how I truly feel in my heart. During our conversation she chimed in on one part stating "I don't want to go through the hell that we just went through, and will not do anything to get us back there". Man, I felt so good when she said that. I also told her how I was really up one day and I got set back quite abit in the security area of our relationship. This is the story. She was offered a co-manager's position where she works. At first we both were happy over it. Then I seen how the current co-manager was always working, people dont show up, little emergencies. All this meant more time away from her family. She would have to work 48 hours a week at least. So she would not have much time to spend with us. I mentinoned how many hours the current co-manager puts in. She agreed that was alot time he puts in. So then she starts telling me how she want's to be a stay-at-home mom again (houswife). That she wants to start taking care of us again like she used to. I was really happy to hear all of this. I know she likes working, but she said that her focus should be on her family. I was really eating this up. So, she said that she was going to decline the co-manager position and then asked me when we can afford for her to quit. I said after Christmas would be best, the end of January it was. However, the next day, her employer was putting pressure on her to accept the job. So she came home and was asking my opinion on her taking the job again. Well that really got me down. Here she was saying all these wonderful things then she burst my bubble so to speak. I didn't let it show too much that I was disappointed in what she was saying. But she eventually decided to turn down the job. I told her her last night how I felt about what happened finally. She said that she was sorry, but she really wanted to make the right decision for us and that I should not worry and she loves me very much. I have been sad for so long....It feels weird to feel happy, that sometimes I catch myself looking for things to be un-happy with....crazy huh?
Byte
[This message has been edited by ByteEnable (edited 12-17-1999).]
