Am I Creating a SSM Part III

[heatherg]

Have you guys been to counseling? Seems to me 2 years is quite a bit of time. Is he going to be resentfull the rest of your married life?

I was in IC for a year and a half and stopped when H and I started MC. We have only been to MC a handful of times because of H's work schedule.

You don't need anybody to hold on your hand any more. Sometimes I think you seek permission to do what H wants instead of doing the right thing.

I know, I know. It's just that when I made that clarification, I could just feel everyone saying "OHHHH, well, I didn't know THAT...in that case....". I am making progress at listening to *me*, but I still seem to need that reality check just to make sure that I am being reasonable. I will get past that. I will.

Heather, do you make OM a part of your life in any way? Do you go to any of his gigs? Do you call him on the phone? Do you email him? Do you talk to him? Do you see him? Do you even *want* to do any of those things?


NO! I haven't seen, heard from or of him since the day I told him never to call me again.

Because if not, H the only one keeping OM in your life. Why does he want OM to remain in your life two years later? Why is OM the last man who kissed you? That's not what *you* want; it's what H wants.

You're right. It's because H can't let it go. I haven't suffered enough yet, H is still getting his revenge, he's still wallowing in his pain. He's still waiting for me to 'prove' to him that I am committed, that I am sorry.

Did he tell the kids you were picking him up before his conversation with you about the vehicles? If so, he's point blank manipulating you with the children.


Yes, he did. But I didn't feel like he was manipulating, he was just assuming that this time would be like every other time and I would switch vehicles and pick him up. Like always.