Hmmm... it occurs to me, Heather, that your H has already decided that this marriage is over. That he has no intention of making a go of it, but that he wants it to be YOUR fault that it broke up. Not just your fault because of the kiss or internet thing (I can't remember exactly) but he wants you to be the one to leave, walk out, abandon him, etc. Then he can be a martyr, a Wronged Party, the guy whose woman was no damm good and done him wrong. He can wear this like a badge forever.
Everything he is doing is pointing to that. He is not acting like a man who wants this marriage to work. He is driving you away, so that the D will be YOUR fault. He wants a D, but he wants it to be YOUR fault.
That remark he made when you wanted to go to motel about throwing the marriage away--- that was nonsense. He is driving you out. He's like the bully (we seem to have a lot of them among the spouses of this board) who provokes and provokes and then when you finally get fed up and strike, it was all your fault.
Your posts often sound very confused. They're full of maybes, and I don't knows, I wonders...you're always trying to figure out where he is coming from so you will know how to feel and how to act. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with YOU-- I'm saying that is a perfectly normal reaction to someone who is intentionally trying to drive you crazy.
