Hi okay H and I went out and ran some errands together last night, I decided to hire a sitter to make the experience a little easier. It was fun just hanging out together.
heres the thing. we were just talking and had a typical miscomunication and this happens all the time. He says it dosnt happen when he talks to other people and it dosnt happen to me when I talk to other people so we are trying to figure why it happens to us.
we were talking about Theressa and how I post for her being she cant post anymore because her boss said no more posting or chatting from work. He asked me if she would get introuble from her employers seeing what we are doing via email because companys check the email. he said where does she work? I said I didnt know. He said dosnt it say on her mail. I said no it says what department she works in but not the name of the company. He said what is it? I said I dont know for sure which dept, I didnt pay attention it just says dept something. He said well what is it? I said I told you I dont know where she works or the name of the department. He said well if you dont want to tell me then just say so. are you afraid I will call her or something? I said no I just dont know where exactly she works. He said if you dont want to tell me her email address then just say so its no big deal. I said I dont know her email address, I dont have it memorized. he said well why didnt you just say that when i asked you what it was? I said I didnt realize you were asking what her email address was. He said if you didnt know what I was asking why didnt you ask me. I said I thought you were asking me where she worked and what dept she worked in. he said we were talking about her email address and I asked what is it how could you not know what I was talking about.
he said I needed to work on my comunications skills, and if I dont know whats being asked of me then to ask to clarify what it is you want to know. rather then try to muddle through it when you dont know what you are answering. I said well I thought I knew what you were asking me I thought you were asking me where she worked and when you asked what is it I thought you were referring to what dept does she work in. I didnt think I was tyring to muddle through any thing and I think you read into things when you were accusing me of just not wanting to tell you and trying to sidestep your question. I said also rather then repeating the same question the same way when I didnt answer you right you could change the way you ask it. if someone misunderstands you you just explain it diferently rather then get mad and keep repeating the same thing
see how its such a dumb little thing but it gets frustrating.
I think with other people if you answer their question wrong, they will rephrase their question. thats what I do and I dont have problems with other people. also there have been times I have misunderstood what my counselor was asking me and when I answered it was not what he was after and he would say what I mean is and then ask it diferently and I would say oh I see what your asking and then answer and its no big deal no one is upset. but with my H it happens like above.
