I think that when you run you rach a state where the combination of chemicals in your brain allows you to relax your thinking. It other words in just seems to come to you. I know that for me I have to wait for about 15 mins until this happens and once I'm there I become free to explore lots of different ideas and also seem to problem solve very well.
My rational is that problem solving involves first identifing the problem then thinking of a broad range of solutions and lastly seeing which one may best fit the problem.
I think that as you run you detach from the emotions and preconceptions of the problem and you then can see with clarity what is going on. The same with solutions.. You tend to let your mind wander through a greater range of possibilities (you find a better fit).
Anyway it seems to work for me (good DB ing ).
I agree with what you are saying about time together and it's those thoughts that bring me tremendous comfort. I really like doing things with my W.
Perhaps this is the key to both our situations!
You asked about your on-line time and addiction. I still think that is really more about his insecurities.
I think it would be useful to be very clear with him that your on-line time is not a threat in any way to him. I don't know how you do this but he does respond to words. Be proactive. Tell him that you are limiting yourself and tell him why.
I think his insecurities are the key to diffusioning the "problem" areas in your relationship. Every oportunity you can get to squash them will strengthen him and cease the symptomatic behaviors.
Must go (job stuff the MC)
Chris
One last thought.... I think you might respond to affirmations????
[This message has been edited by ChrisJ (edited 12-10-1999).]