Zyg, I know and I hear you. It must be very hard to deal with those memories. I hate what my kids have seen. He didnt "beat" me but he was pretty rough when he lost control of his rage and the kids saw some ugly seens that were quite scarey for them and I get angry at myself for not leaving when I should have but that time is past now and I have let it go. I wont go back! I do get frightend when he gets angry because there were so many times when he was so angry he almost choked me to death, I think having that past will make me get scared more easily and I am sure it will take time for that to go away completely if at all. Just like your sore spot with that issue because of your past experience with it, it will always be a sensitive issue for you even though that time is over with. I believe anyone can change if they want to and I know he wants to and inspite of where he is at now, I can see he has come a very long ways in the last year and half, if he can go that much farther in the next year and half the rest of our lives could be wonderful.
I have to know I gave my all. Just like you were talking about in the "hell" thread. You cant just give up saying well theres nothing we can do, we have to try and do what we perceive to be the impossible because there is so much at steak. If were just about me, I would go, because I got really tired of being the one paying for his lessons a long time ago, but I dont want the kids to be paying for more.
