Sue, Ask yourself the question, "What will my husband be DOING when I feel _____(happier, more respected, more understood?" What are the behaviors? IF I were a fly on the wall in your house, what would i see the 2 of you DOING when you feel you are on track. Would he be complimenting you, sitting down and watching television with you in the evenings, and so on.. What will he be doing differently when you feel better about your marriage?
Also, read the section in DB about the miracle question. that should help you as well. Don't tell him what you are unhappy about, tell him what you rather have happen instead. When you discuss what you're not happy about, men take it as criticism and they often shut down. You don't want this to happen, so be positive. "when you do ___, it makes me feel good." That goes a lot farther.
If he twists things, it just means you need to explain it in a different way. Don't get mad or frustrated. Just try again. When your kids don't understand something you're saying, you don't take it personally, you try again. The same theory applies. Good luck Michele
