Glad you posted over here. I even started to feel confrontational over in newcomers. Not that anybody was saying anything that was not "right". It just really does not get down to getting things on track. I too feel concerned about your personel safety and actually I trust you to know what your limits are there.
Your needs?
I think it is important that you both realize that there are needs that each of have met outside your relationship. This is healthy.
From your posts you do seem to get overwhelmed by the events of the day. How can your H help? Think about what would make you feel better. Would it be better if you did not feel judged by your H when he came howm from work? This then could be turned into a specific positve. Your H could compliment you as soon as he steps in the door. No complaints, No fixes, just something like "It's good to be home".
The calls throughout the day are very important to your H. It carries him through and gives him strength to get through a job that he does not like but provides for you and the kids.
Find away to make sure that he does get through.
Set up schedule for any being on-line and agree to it with your H.
Tell him tonight that you will like help from discovering all your needs. Talk about them and openly and brainstorm solutions.
I do hear you when you say you feel stuck. Ask your H for help.
Sue, It took me a couple of months to figure out what was important to me. Don't get frustrated it will come. Do try to involve your H.
One thing that you might want to consider is setting some specific goals (DB has a good chapter on this). Try some solutions for a week and reevaluate how you both have done.
Sue its good to have you over here.
Chris
[This message has been edited by ChrisJ (edited 12-09-1999).]
