JW, Hi! haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you are well.
Wesse, You have mirrored my sentiments exactly. I am so glad to hear that someone understands what I am feeling. I was thinking I was losing my mind! I still might be, but in any case, I do feel the need for a total break. Someplace safe where I can get my head together, and get some strength back for the road ahead.
H and I talked about it in depth the other day after one of my outbursts. I also mentioned to him that my trip would be good for him, too. He asked "How will your leaving be good for me?" I said, "Because I need to work on my trust issues, and leaving will show you that I trust you to be OK in my absence". He nodded and said he understood. He knows I have to do this. I need to prove to myself that I can be away from home and be OK, and have him be OK. He needs to see that I can be OK, too.
If I get a job soon, in my field (which I am hoping like crazy happens for me,) there's a real good chance that it will involve travel due to the nature of my job. So, I will need to be able to be "OK" and stay focused on my job, which I won't be able to do if I am constantly worried about h's whereabouts while I'm away. So, in many ways, it's mostly a test for me.
I am not leaving til next week, but I have a gazillion things to wrap up before I take off so, I wanted to mention it ahead of time in case I don't get to post much. Also, I was hoping to get a little feedback, and you came through for me! Thank you!
