GG, I am glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself. I am certainly going to miss your posts for awhile because your situation in many ways so parallels mine awhile back.
I continue to have painful feelings similiar to yours when I see ow although I feel that she generally tries to be a nicer person than the ow in your situation. I think that some of my discomfort is that she makes me feel so terribly inadequate because her strengths are in areas where I have weakness. The fact that she has weaknesses where I am strong doesn't seem to help my feelings. Whatever.... I can't seem to verbalize the effect, but in any event in that way our situations are different.
I truly hope that your H will come around and honor his marital commitment ant that in the interim so much hurt is not inflicted that you cannot fully recover. Perhaps removing yourself for a short while will give you renewed strength and energy to deal with your marriage. Dr. Harley at marriagebuilders.com recommends total withdrawal as plan b when plan a of dbing does not result in the ending of all contacts between spouse and op.
I wish there were more threads and postings dealing with how to deal with the post reconciliation feelings of insecurity and bitterness that sometimes overwhelm us. I am so glad that my H got past his involvement with an op, but I do understand well that the injury does not end just because the affair is over. I am truly sorry that your H is being so slow to realize the need for him to recommit to you. Take some time and focus on yourself. I hope that your absence will "make his heart grow fonder." You have shown incredible patience and strength, and are due for some relief! Keep us posted if you can. We really care about you here!
