thanks for your advice. I printed it out with others you have posted. I think I did some good DBing last night. Even GG agreed. We had some problems with #3 today and I had to call H...he said we would talk later. I told him I was going to the Y. He came there too after I did. We chatted for a moment. He said he would call #3 from our house. I said pick up dinner. He said he would call when he was done. He never called but showed up with KFC (I hate KFC but smiled as I ate it). As we sat down, H said, 'don't get any wrong ideas that I stopped by tonight with dinner because I am coming home.' I wish I had read you post before We did talk about the relationship as he brought it up...bottom line, I promised not to write him any more letters (they get repetitive...) and he said he would think about solutions and moving into the guest room (he won't...but it sounded nice) since he wants to move to a one bedroom (he is cramped in efficiency) but financially it is a strain (two weddings, two in college) and he said he would think. Who knows if he meant it or was placating me. Anyway...I will heed your advice. He left after one hour. Called later to ask if I had gooten in touch with #3. I said yes and so he said he was calling him. He called me back when he was done. We chatted. I told him he handled it great. He said he would call me in a.m. and probably would see me tomorrow. I am dying here...we have a long weekend ahead and I could visit my folks but would rather see him if he wants. I know IT HAS TO COME FROM HIM as he says...but he is so set in his ideas. I guess I am very scared...and I told him I miss him...(especially the sex part) and this is the time to build a relationship and not walk out on it. He had said he hated the bickering, the nagging and yelling at the kids. I agreed...saying it isn't like that. That if he spent more time here he would see. I am not sure about OW...I think it is an emotional thing...he doesn't look horny...wives can tell about these things...so maybe it is more...if only he would open the door of hop a crack instead of making me feel like it is padlocked...I guess if it was, he wouldn't stop by at all even with the comment, 'don't get any ideas.'
My kids want him out of my life...last time they were supportive of the US...now it is just of me....#3 says he doesn't want his dad around me....#1 isn't inviting him to her wedding...#4 does feel comfortable with him...#2 is mad. And this old mom wants to try, try, try.
Keep that advice coming.
ronnie
ps: what does it mean at the end of a posting that the message has been edited.
